DEATH, taxes and the car you see me crouched next to at the top of this page breaking down - those are the few things in life you can guarantee will happen!
Last time you saw the
Life On Cars Mini - quite possibly the least reliable motor I've ever known - it was 2009, the ground was covered in snow and the thing had stopped working altogether, after a never-ending series of mechanical maladies left it confined to the garage and me glad I didn't have the chance to crash it on the ungritted roads. But now it's back!
Going for a spin in the Mini is like going for a pint with an old mate; they might well have fobbed you off or left you with the bar tab before, but you don't care because you haven't seen them in ages! I might drive lots of different cars and many of them are fantastic, but in my eyes they'll never beat my Mini because it's MY Mini. A car that's literally corroded around me.
Since I bought the car nearly 18 months ago the brakes, the steering, the distributor, the tyres, the fuses, the wiring, the lights, the starter motor, the sills, the floorpan and the body have all broken, and for weeks at a time it's been off the road, stubbornly refusing to start and asking me why I didn't buy a Nissan Micra instead. The 26-year-old motor is so unreliable it's actually a running joke at The Champion, but it doesn't stop me loving it.
After months of hiding from the winter I finally got the chance to get reacquainted with it, and on the roads around Churchtown the sublimely communicative steering and point 'n' squirt handling were an absolute revelation. The tiny drum brakes are still as hopeless as ever, but you shouldn't have this much fun in something this small and cheap.
In fact I was so pleased with it that I took it across town to see one of my colleagues and proudly boast that a brilliant car was now a reliable one. At which point it immediately broke down. Again.
Say what you like, but I adore the little Mini. Until the next time it stops working, anyway.
